These are the best quotes from Never Split The Difference by Christopher Voss.

Christopher Voss’s book Never Split The Difference emphasizes the importance of emotional intelligence and provides a practical strategy to both work and personal life. It is especially crucial for someone who wants to have a seamless sales process. This book lays the groundwork for successful negotiation by empathizing with the opposing side and practicing active listening skills.


Conflict brings out truth, creativity, and resolution.

Never Split The Difference

Hope is not a strategy.

Playing dumb is a valid negotiating technique.

The last rule of labeling is silence. Once you’ve thrown out a label, be quiet and listen.

Never Split The Difference

No deal is better than a bad deal.

There are actually three kinds of “Yes”: Counterfeit, Confirmation, and Commitment.

Negotiation as you’ll learn it here is nothing more than communication with results.

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When you do talk numbers, use odd ones.

For a mirror to be effective, you’ve got to let it sit there and do its work. It needs a bit of.

Never Split The Difference

Negotiations with religious fanatics who have delusions of grandeur generally do not go well.

Every negotiation should start with “No“.

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If you feel you can’t say “No” then you’ve taken yourself hostage.

Mirroring will make you feel awkward as heck when you first try it. That’s the only hard part about it.

You’re going to have to embrace regular, thoughtful conflict as the basis of effective negotiation—and of life.

Creative solutions are almost always preceded by some degree of risk, annoyance, confusion, and conflict.

Labeling is a way of validating someone’s emotion by acknowledging it.

The person across the table is never the problem. The unsolved issue is.

Compromise and concession, even to the truth, feel like defeat.

The secret to gaining the upper hand in a negotiation is giving the other side the illusion of control.

Contrary to popular opinion, listening is not a passive activity. It is the most active thing you can do.

It comes down to the deep and universal human need for autonomy. People need to feel in control.

For anger to be effective, it has to be real, the key for it is to be under control because anger also reduces our cognitive ability.

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To get real leverage, you have to persuade them that they have something concrete to lose if the deal falls through.

Concentrate on the next step because the rope will lead you to the end as long as all the steps are completed.

The Rule of Three is simply getting the other guy to agree to the same thing three times in the same conversation.

Most people in a negotiation are driven by fear or by the desire to avoid pain. Too few are driven by their actual goals.

Aggressive confrontation is the enemy of constructive negotiation.

kidnappers are just businessmen trying to get the best price.

The relationship between an emotionally intelligent negotiator and their counterpart is essentially therapeutic.

Body language and tone of voice—not words—are our most powerful assessment tools.

It comes down to the deep and universal human need for autonomy.

Anger and other strong emotions can on rare occasions be effective. But only as calculated acts, never a personal attack.

Talking slowly and clearly, you convey one idea: I’m in control.

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